


Teach me the sky

by HelenF_AKA_Sucker_For_Fandom_Shipping



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel has black wings, Castiel misses his older brother, Dean is afraid of heights, Dorks in Love, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Gabriel is only mentioned, Love Confessions, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Sam tries to be a wingman, Wingfic, Wings, takes place somewhere in 4 season
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 11:46:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17243669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelenF_AKA_Sucker_For_Fandom_Shipping/pseuds/HelenF_AKA_Sucker_For_Fandom_Shipping
Summary: A few days passed after an anniversary of an important event that changed Castiel's life forever. He can't bring himself to talk to anyone and decides to visit his friends instead asking an unusual question. All this leads to him trying to help Dean overcome his main fear.Something between changes and both of them can finally open up to each other. What does it take for an angel to show his wings to a human after all?





	Teach me the sky

**Author's Note:**

> Welp here is my comeback to writing. It's been almost six or seven months since I posted a fanfiction. I've joined so many wonderful fandom in this period of time, I can't even decide what to write.  
> I stopped on Supernatural. The series really changed something inside me and I just couldn't not write something.  
> I will also post the link to the fanfiction on SPN Amino if anyone is interested. My nickname is Fairy Godmother.
> 
> English is not my first language, I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. Hope you will enjoy reading this.
> 
> Kudos to my Internet friend Alex who made this fanfiction possible.

When he was younger, him and his older brother used to watch the humans a lot, trying to understand them better. They were his father’s creation after all. For some reason other angels weren’t as eager as them to find out more about those strange complicated creatures. Guess he had his bigger sibling to blame for passing his curiosity onto him.

The dark-winged angel decided to push those memories into the far corner of his mind, were they didn’t bring so much emotional pain.

Castiel never really gave any thought to what regular people might fear. His friends where hunters, and saw pretty much every monster you can think of, they fought angels and demons on regular basis. But what about other people? The angel never really got close to anybody except for the Winchesters, he was always observing everything from the side.

Eventually he learned that most people didn’t believe in monsters, ghosts and anything supernatural, which was great for them. The brothers said that it prevents people from panic and causing chaos and making even more problems. That’s when he started wondering what people were afraid of, because it seemed like they had nothing to worry about.

With the fluttering of his wings he decided to pay a visit to his favourite people and ask them about it. Other angels always said he was too curious about humanity for his own good. No matter how much time he spent watching them, he couldn’t figure them out.

“Hello Sam.” Sam nearly fell from the chair he was sitting at when he heard a familiar voice greeting him. Him and Dean spent a really long time trying to solve a case, but nothing seemed to add up, which led them to a few sleepless nights that caused their great exhaustion.

“Hey there Cas. How have you been?” And despite everything the hunter was still glad to see his friends, since lately the angel didn’t have much time to be near them. Which caused Dean to act even more grumpy, might Sam add. 

He knew why Dean was acting this way, he missed Cas too, but not like his brother did. The tension between the two of them just suffocated him sometimes. 

“I’m fine. Where is Dean?” And Sam is not even surprised that this is the first thing Castiel asks.

“He is out shopping. This case has been killing us for a week now. But what are you doing here Cas? We didn’t see you in awhile and I don't think anyone here prayed for you to come down here.” Not wanting to sound like the Heaven’s soldier wasn’t welcomed here, he added, “We missed you. Dean especially missed you.”

Those words just got the reaction Sam wanted to see from Castiel, the apathetic expression on his face was replaced by a small smile and barely visible blush.

“Of course. I’m sorry that I haven’t been around, I had a lot of duties I had to attend to. As for the cause of my visit, I wanted to ask you something.” Castiel did feel a bit of guilt that he couldn’t stay with his friends longer. All he wanted to do sometimes was just spend at least one day resting with Winchesters. 

Not like he was gonna admit it anyway, he was an angel of the Lord, and he did not think of such things.

Sam became interested in what Castiel wanted to ask him. The celestial being never really asked them about anything, Cas being Cas just stayed silent and watched everything from behind with those piercing calculating eyes of his.

It felt like God gave Castiel those eyes on purpose. Those eyes know much more than they let on, those eyes always search for something, always observe and try to see purpose in every little thing. 

“Um. Alright Cas, you can ask me anything.”

“What are people scared of?” Well that was a straightforward question in Castiel’s style, which totally caught Sam off guard.

“What do you mean?” That question was understandable since Sam didn’t get what Castiel wanted him to answer in the first place. “I mean, have you seen all the things we are fighting, Cas?”

“Of course I did, Sam. I meant what people who don't believe and never saw anything supernatural are afraid of?” 

Oh alright, now Sam got it. It didn’t take him long to think how to answer Castiel’s question, take it from a hunter who is afraid of clowns.

“Different people are afraid of different things. Some are afraid of the dark, while others are afraid of drowning in the sea. It varies. Some people are afraid of spiders, and just can’t stand them.” Jess, as fearless as she was, hated spiders.

Ignoring the fact that spiders were totally Lucifer’s idea a long time ago, Castiel asked “Why?”

Sam blinked at him not really knowing how to answer. He often asked people why they were afraid of spiders, and they never actually gave an answer Sam understood. “I don't really get it, but I guess they really don't like creatures with eight legs and many eyes. Despite everything, it seems like Australians got used to them, living among tons of different species of spiders, but still there are a lot of people afraid of them there.”

And it did make some sense to Castiel, most humans had a reason to be afraid of something, even if it was something small and unjustified. 

Castiel got the answer he wanted, but it wasn’t the only thing he wanted to ask the man.

“Are you afraid of anything, Sam?”

That’s when Sammy’s thoughts went a halt. How embarrassing would it be to admit that the Winchester was afraid of clowns of all things? Especially to an angel?

“Well...umm…” As Castiel was staring at him expectedly, he could leave the clowns part out. “I guess considering what kind of things we encountered in our lives makes us seem as pretty much fearless, but..; I’m afraid of my loved ones getting hurt. Our job is dangerous, and we lost so much already, Dean and you is all I have.” 

And Sam didn’t say it just to avoid clown subject, he was deadly serious. His family meant the world to him, and it already pained him to see his brother struggling from so many issues. 

Castiel was intently staring at Sam knowing that the younger Winchester wasn’t kidding, even though he got the sense that there was something Sam wasn’t telling him.

*BAM*

And of course the moment was interrupted by Dean kicking the door with his foot, as if he was trying to break it. Well, you can’t really blame him, he was carrying too much to be able to open the door like a civil person. 

“Hey Sam, I’m back!”

Dean barely managed to place everything he bought on the table without dropping anything, and once he was done he finally registered the presence of the third person in the room. 

“Hello Dean. It’s good to see you again.” Dean unconsciously let his eyes wander around Cas, to check if anything was out of place, and was happy to find that the angel seemed fine. Same old dirty trenchcoat, same old tie that never seemed to be straight, same old blue beautiful eyes watching his every move.

“Cas! It’s great to see you again man. Where have you been?” Backtracking a little bit, Sam wasn’t kidding when he said Dean really missed Cas. Angel always came and went in short visits, but lately he felt wrong when Cas wasn’t near. He was constantly worrying about something and just wished that he would stay with them. 

Dean decided to sit down near his brother, trying his best to act casual.

And no matter what said he was having none of that. He is Dean fucking Winchester, and he was not in lo-

“Just some complications in Heaven with other angels. And-” Suddenly the room became chilly and deadly silent. Whatever Castiel wanted to say was stuck in his throat. And it changed the mood in the room drastically.

And it scared the ever living Hell out of Dean and Sam.

They never saw Castiel’s emotions shift so badly before. “Hey Cas, you alright?” At the sound of Dean’s voice the angel snapped out of his memory induced trance. The event that unfolded around them reminded him so much of-

“Yes I’m fine Dean. No need to worry.” The Winchesters knew when a person was hiding or repressing their emotions, and this was the case right now. They never dealt with Castiel being the victim though, and they had no idea how to comfort him for several reasons.

One, because Cas is an angel and never showed any signs of anything resembling sadness. Two, because they didn’t have any clue what might have upset their friend so badly. So, they had no idea what to do. 

At least Dean didn’t. Sam had an amazing idea how to resolve this situation and lighten the mood.

“So Dean, Cas actually has been asking me about what people are afraid of, can you add anything?”

“Death. People are definitely afraid of dying, just stopping their existence in this world not knowing if anybody will even remember them. And that’s terrifying.” Memories off how Dean was torn with the claws of a hellhound crashed both Winchesters. That was one of the worst things that happened to them until now.

Sam had to watch his big brother, his guardian, his best friend being killed while he couldn’t do anything. He felt so helpless back then, but ever since his brother came back he does not intend to let go. Not again.

Dean on the other hand can still feel the phantom of pain from the claws of the beast. Can still see the red glow of its eyes when he closes his eyes.

And despite the knots in his chest the hunter still managed to smile a little remembering that Castiel had saved him. If it wasn’t for his angel he would be remain dead in Hell, forced to torture those souls.

Wait… Since when he started calling Castiel his angel?

“Also Dean is afraid of heights.” That snapped the shorter Winchester out of his thoughts that travelled a little south.

Sam almost laughed at the look of pure betrayal on Dean’s face and surprised yet curious eyes of an angel. “Dude, seriously?”

Saying Dean was embarrassed would be an understatement. Sure, he wasn’t really ashamed to admit it to Sam or other people if it’s needed, but this is Cas! Cas is an angel for Christ’s sake! Angels have wings and can fly and would clearly not understand what it’s like to be afraid of heights.

“Wait, Dean are you really afraid of heights?” That little head tilt that Castiel did when he was confused or tried to figure something out would be the death of him.

“Uuuuuuuuum…” There really wasn’t any way to avoid this situation now. Even if he tried to lie to Cas, he will know it. This angel knew him too well. “I.. Ugh, yes fine! Happy? I’m afraid of heights.” Saying that felt like he just confessed some crime against humanity. And of course to escape this feeling, Dean stormed out of the room and decided to drive his baby around, it always helped him to calm down.

Sam tried to lighten the mood with that, but it took a different turn. He didn’t really get why Dean got so pissed that he told Castiel. He was a close friend, a part of their family after all. And he especially didn’t want to upset Dean on top of everything happening. Maybe all the stress from hunting and demons caught up to him. 

Sam was deep in his thoughts when Castiel's voice cut through, “Maybe I should follow Dean. I don't think it's good to leave him alone right now.” Sam smiled, knowing that Castiel also didn't want to miss the chance to have moments alone with Dean. 

“Yeah, I think you are right. Go Cas, talk to him.” Younger Winchester's thoughts about how he wanted Cas and Dean not only to talk left unsaid.

And in a blink of an eye and the sound of angel's wings, Cas was gone. The hunter chuckled, hoping that maybe this time they will finally, FINALLY take a step forward and realize that both of them are in love with each other.

Meanwhile on the other side of the town Dean was driving deep in thought and didn’t even hear the flutter of wings next to him, didn’t even sense a presence next to him, which was uncharacteristic for a hunter like him because he was always alert and ready to spring into action.

He thought about Castiel. Who else can he think about? That angel invaded his thought ever since the moment he saw him. He remembered those times when he didn’t believe angels even existed and now they were in the middle of this mess. And let’s be frank, almost all angels they encountered so far are douchebags, but not him. Cas was so much different than any other angel. He was much kinder and sweeter than them, it actually seemed like he at least gave a damn about what will happen to humanity. Castiel was always there to help them or guide them. When he found out that angels in Heaven where trained to be perfect soldiers pissed him off because the first thing he thought about was how Castiel was forced to be a part of this angel system. But he soon found out that his angel was so much more than just a puppet on a strings. He had the spark in him that no other angel had, the spark of life, free will and curiosity that just needed a push to be turned into a burning fire. 

He wondered what got him so upset earlier. Did it have something to do with other angels?

“Dean.” The soft sound of his name being said snapped him out of his mind palace with a startle. He almost lost control of his treasured Impala.

“Jesus Cas how many times do I have to tell you to not do that? You scared another year of my life out of me.” Breathing a sight he was holding, he decided to ignore confused angel that clearly doesn’t understand metaphors.

“Why did you leave, Dean?” And to be honest Dean didn’t understand it himself. It wasn’t really because Castiel found out about his fear of heights. He had a bit different reasons. He thoughts seemed to get out of hand lately, and he just needed to get away and try to sort them out. And when he saw Cas standing in the room, his emotions got better of him and he just didn’t know what to do with them.

Dean was never good with emotions and ‘chick-flick’ moments.

“I don't know.” Ignoring or hiding the way he feels always seems a lot easier than confronting his feelings. He didn’t even understand what his feelings are. 

Or maybe he did know, he just didn’t want to admit it.

“Dean… As an angel you probably know that I don't really understand the fear of heights, since angels were created with wings to fly. But, I’m sure you have your reasons, and this fear is not as unreasonable as it seems at first.” Castiel stumbled with his words, trying to choose the right thing to say to the hunter to get him to open up.

What surprised the angel though, was the unreadable expression on Dean’s face he never saw before, the slight furrow in his brow yet fond look in his eyes, a slight curve of his lips. Cas didn’t even notice he was staring at first, it seems both of them have been getting lost in their thoughts today. 

Suddenly it seems something in Dean snapped and he stopped the car. It seems like they have driven much longer than they realized because now they were in the middle of the field with no one around. The town wasn’t even that big, and that’s probably why it didn’t take long to leave it’s boundaries.

Fighting an urge to sigh, he got out of the car. Castiel of course eagerly did the same. They just stood there for awhile staring at the sky, not saying anything. Despite everything, it wasn’t an awkward silence, both of the had so much to think about that they just enjoyed having each other near.

Castiel thought about a peculiar person standing beside him. Dean didn’t really remember how he saved him from Hell, but he remembered everything. That’s why when they met again in the bar he already knew much more about Dean than he thought. He saw the soul of this human. It was torn and stitched together again and again. There was so much pain and guilt no one should have to go through the short period of life Dean lived through. He saw most of the things Dean tried to hide inside him, and he wants to help so badly, but he doesn’t have any idea how. He doesn’t understand emotions and feelings well. Ever since God left, Lucifer was banished and Michael was left in charge and Gabriel-

Things have changed though he still remembered happy times when everyone in Heaven got along. Things have been so much easier. 

His big brother always said that one day he would understand what free will feels like. One day he would understand why did his brother lea-

For the last couple of month he felt some things that angels shouldn't feel. Did things that disobeyed orders. And all of that for Dean.

There was this warm feeling in his chest whenever he was near the hunter. The feeling of need to protect him and make sure he is happy. Every time he feels lonely or sad he wants to be by Dean’s side, he wanted to be comforted by him. But it was different feeling he felt towards Sam, Sam was his friend. But Dean… What was this feeling?

“I don't think any of you feathery douchebags are afraid of anything. There is no reason for you to be afraid of anything.” Dean paused for a second looking directly into Cas’ sky blue eyes. “But you know Cas, people are afraid of heights because they are afraid to fall.” The look in Dean’s eyes was distant, like he was remembering something. Something he wanted to forget.

Trying to calm his friend down Castiel took Dean’s hand in his. That certainly surprised Dean a lot, as the hunter was trying to fight a blush that started blooming on his cheeks. Castiel’s hands felt soft and smooth in Dean’s calloused ones.

The past few days have been really hard on him for one reason. He couldn’t even stand the thought of flying again. The pain of the past was hunting him like never before. 

“Well then Dean, in this case let me help you. Humans never got to experience the true feeling of freedom in a true flight. The wind in your face, the feeling of being unreachable for anyone else.” Dean didn’t know what to say to that, hell he didn’t know what Cas meant by that. But the thought of being in open sky terrifies him.

“What are you talking about?” And instead of answering Castiel let go of Dean’s hands and closed his eyes. The angel did something he never did before, he probably wasn’t even allowed to do it. The thing he was about to do required a lot of concentration and grace. 

Dean watched fascinated as angel’s back began to glow under his three layers of clothes. The light was so blinding that the hunter had to cover his eyes. He felt a strong gust of wind and heard a flutter of wings when angels usually appeared, but much louder. There was also a sound of clothes ripping, which greatly worried Dean.

When he opened his eyes again he was met with the sight of Castiel smiling at him, like there wasn’t a huge pair of midnight black wings behind him. The massive wings were almost touching the ground. At first look it might seem like his wings where just black, but it wasn’t true, if you look at them closely you can see a faint dark blue glow to them that was barely visible. 

Angel wings. The most private and important part of an angel. The part of them that was directly tied to their grace and represented what an angel was. Wings provided them power and protection, for Castiel they have been a great comfort over the lonely years. But Castiel had to hide one part of himself from other angels, that would no doubt question it.

This one part he decided to let Dean see. The part of him that instantly caught hunter’s attention.

One golden feather. Single primary long golden feather that stood out against all others. 

Saying Dean was awestruck would be an understatement. No human on Earth ever actually saw angel wings. The fact that Castiel let him see them made him feel like the most gifted person in the whole wide world. 

Cas didn’t really know why he decided to do this, he just thought it’s the right thing to do. The look on Dean’s face was entertaining though, his forest green eyes expanded in size he never knew human eye could and his mouth was hanging open in surprise. 

“Dean…?” Dean didn’t hear his angel though, he only felt like his legs took a few steps forward to be able to stand right in front of Cas, personal space be damned.

He brought his hand closer to the wings, the urge to run his hands through them impossibly strong, but he still understood the whole importance of this situation. “Can.. can I-”

The slight nod was all he needed to let his hand glide through a few feathers. They felt nothing like Dean ever touched in his entire life, they were impossibly soft and pure under his palm and despite the fact that those wings are probably stronger than him, he still feared that he might hurt them in some way. Like he was gonna taint them if he touches them too long. Which was ridiculous since these same wings helped Castiel pull him out of Hell.

“Cas… This is amazing. I never saw anything like this.” A breathy chuckle escaped the man. “I mean, I always knew you had wings. And I saw the shadows of them in that barn. But this is nothing like I imagined.”

Dean shifted his gaze from wings to Castiel’s who had visible blush on his pale face. His smile lighting up the space around them, his eyes sparkling with childlike joy. Like it have been a long time since he heard words like those in a long time.

For Dean it was almost impossible to resist to just lean in and kiss his angel. Nothing was stopping him now. But-

When he realized what he just thought about he almost flinched away from his friend, but decided against it. Instead he asked “So what’s this all about?”

He can’t allow himself to fall in love with an angel. There are many reason to resist all the feelings towards Castiel. The main one was that the angel of the Lord would never feel that same way towards a terrible wreck like him.

Castiel took Dean’s hands again and laced their fingers together. “Do you trust me?” Dean had a vague idea what an angel wanted to do, and while his mind screamed at him to stop Castiel and drive away as far as possible leaving him alone, his heart was telling him the exact opposite. He wanted to do this, he needed to do this. For himself and for Castiel.

“Of course.”

Castiel’s heart swelled as those two words have been said. He knew how hard it was for his hunter and he can’t imagine what he ever did to earn the undoubtful trust of this amazing person.

With the swoop of the wings, Castiel lifted them, into the air. To Dean it seemed like moving those wings would take a lot of effort, but in reality it didn’t take much strength for Castiel. With the flapping of wings they soared in air higher and higher.

In fear Dean closed his eyes and clutched Castiel tighter. Noticing this Castiel opted to just float in the air and not go any higher. “Hey Dean.” His tone was the most gentle thing Dean have heard since his mother died. “Can you open your eyes for me please?” 

He couldn’t say no to that, so hesitantly he opened one eye and then another. Castiel watched as Dean’s expression morphed into one of horror that he never saw before. The angel had to do something quickly because Dean began hyperventilating, which wasn’t good at all. But Cas wasn’t about to just give up this whole thing.

“Shhh Dean. I know. You told me that fear of heights comes from fear of falling. Don't worry Dean. I won’t let go. I won’t let you fall.” He tried to use the most coaxing tone he could muster. The same tone was used on him by his brother when-

Castiel was whispering things like that into Dean’s ear until he steadily calmed down and actually looked around. The warm pressure in his hands was the only thing keeping him sane right now. Castiel’s words reassured him and he tried his best to relax.

The scenery below them was truly beautiful. He saw his lovely car which looked even more dear and familiar somehow when they looked at it this way. They saw fields stretching further beyond the horizon on the left and saw a little part of the town on their right. The sun started to set, and the sky was painted pink and orange.

With a small squeeze of hand Castiel started to fly around. Not too fast for Dean to get scared though, but with each passing minute tried to go a little faster while watching Dean’s expression closely.

When finally there was no tense muscle in Dean Cas finally decided to do a little thing he didn’t do ever since-

“Hey Dean. Just wanted to warn you, I’m gonna try a little thing. Don't get scared.” Instead of answering Dean just held on tighter. He trusted Castiel, and though he still feared to fall, he knew that angel won’t let it happen.

Picking up the speed he maneuvered his wings to start the stunt he hoped he won’t regret. “Woah woah hey Cas maybe I was too fast to make the decision.” Well, it was too late now. 

Cas did something he never though he would do again. He did a death loop. Just like his brother taught him to do a long time ago.

With that he decided to land and let poor shocked out of his mind Dean feel the hard ground again.

Once their legs touched the ground, Dean almost fell to his knees. It was too much at once. Of course Castiel was there to catch him, he promised he won’t let him fall. And it considered not only sky.

For a moment when he was doing a death loop Castiel truly felt free. He felt like he was a little fledgling again. 

“Look Dean, I’m sorry about the death loop. I sincerely hope I didn’t scare you.” Angel was really worried, he was meant to make Dean overcome his fear of heights not make him even more afraid, but he forgot and got lost in his own feelings.

Dean composed himself again and looked at Cas. He grasped his friend’s shoulders tightly and particularly vibrating with adrenaline and excitement said “Cas. That. Was. Awesome. I never thought that feelings like this even existed. You were right in some ways I guess.” Both of them smiled then.

And in that moment both of them feel happy. True happiness they forgot what felt like over the years of pain and suffering.

And in that moment Dean truly felt like nothing was holding him back. There was nothing between them in that moment. He knew that the moment won’t last, so he catched it, he leaned down and their lips touched.

He was kissing Castiel. He was kissing an angel of the fucking Lord.

He tried to catch up with what he just did, but it seems like it couldn’t register in his head.

But he didn’t care right now, all he could feel was Castiel’s soft plum lips moving against his. He put his hand on angel’s cheek, and Cas literally melted into his touch. All this time Dean never considered that over all these years Castiel was probably touch-starved.

Somehow their position ended up with Castiel sitting on top of Impala and Dean standing between his legs.

Dean was willing for the whole world to stop and disappear since all he ever wanted was right here in front of him. 

When they parted they leaned in so their foreheads where touching together, as they breathed heavily. They gazed into each other's eyes finally seeing the truth they tried to push away. 

“I never thought you would feel the same way.” Dean laughed bitterly, but he still felt as though this was all a dream and he would wake up and be alone again.

As if sensing his train of thoughts Castiel’s wings wrapped around them and pushed him in again. They spent another minute or two kissing, until they had to part again for air.

“To be honest I didn’t know what these feelings are at first. But now I do. And it’s the best feeling I ever had.” The sincerity and emotion he felt coming from his angel stole Dean’s breath away.

Dean sat down next to Castiel, as the angel wrapped his wing around him. They just sat there for awhile not saying anything, and if they heard how the phone was ringing inside the car they decided to ignore it.

Dean stroked the feathers on the wings when he finally actually gives a thought to a golden feather. It certainly stood out a lot, and he didn’t have any idea what could have caused this. He didn’t actually know a lot about angel wings and what are the reason of why angels seem to have different wing color. All people think that all angels have white wings.

“Hey Cas, can you tell me about this golden feather?” Dean reconsidered the question when he felt the body next to him stiffen. “Of course if you want to.”

Castiel pulled away a little and looked at Dean for a moment before averting his eyes. “No, it’s alright Dean. I know you must be curious about this. I just- never told this to anyone. None of the angels know this.” This certainly caught hunter’s attention. Cas also had that hunted look in his eyes from before, the one he had in the motel room.

“As you might know, there where four archangels. Michael, Lucifer, Raphael and G-Gabriel.” Dean couldn’t believe his ears, he didn’t just hallucinate that Cas just stuttered. But he knew that it would not be wise to point that out, so instead he said “Sometimes it’s easy to forget that Lucifer was an archangel.” 

“Yeah maybe. All of us remember his fall though. The great explosion of grace when he was defeated by Michael would not be forgotten by anyone.” Dean put a hand on his shoulder when he saw how defensive and anxious Castiel’s body language became. “Michael is in charge of Heaven now, while Raphael is like his right-hand man. But-” Angel’s eyes became misty again. “Gabriel was the youngest archangel, he was a messenger of the God. And he was the best big brother I could have asked for.”

“Wait. Are you saying that you personally know an archangel? And he acted as your older brother? How?” The older Winchester couldn't comprehend what he just heard. As far as he saw angels are not that good of a siblings to each other. But the way Castiel talked about Gabriel seemed to struck something in him. He knew better than anyone what it’s like to be an older brother and how hard it can be sometimes, and this Gabriel dude despite being an archangel seems like a cool character.

“Yeah well. Because of the status of an archangels some angels were afraid to go near Lucifer, Raphael and Michael. But Gabriel was always different. Gabriel was the most easy-going angel in all Heaven. He loved all of us with all his heart, more than anything in this world. You might call him trickster, he always played tricks, joked and made fun of angels and especially our oldest siblings. He didn’t let anything get in the way of being a brother.” Castiel let his tears fall freely now, he just couldn’t take it anymore, he couldn’t bare all the emotions weighing him down all these years. And now he had Dean who was there for him.

“He was the one who taught me how to fly you know? How to do all those stunts in the air. He taught me how to control my grace and he was the reason why I became interested in humanity. We always tried to sneak out on every opportunity given to watch humans. He developed quite a sweet-tooth over the years.” It was incredible the way that Cas talked about Gabriel as if he was the best angel in the world. The angel didn’t really like talking about his family, but something changed. And Dean was certainly for this angel who played a big part in Castiel’s life and helped him to become who he is now. 

“He never liked when our family fought, and over the years Michael’s and Lucifer’s arguments became worse and worse which led to the fall. It was hard on everyone, but especially on Gabriel. We tried to cope. He was always there to comfort me and make me feel better. But ever since then things began to change and get darker and heavier in Heaven. And I guess he just couldn’t bear it any longer. He left Heaven. I was there when he did that.” Castiel clenched his hands in fists so tight it must have hurt. Dean put his hands on Castiel’s just like he did when they were flying and eased them so he could lace their fingers together.

“Wings are reflexion of our grace. Before he left he said that I was his favourite little brother and he left a part of his grace with me. The part of his grace morphed into a golden feather, just like his golden wings.” Castiel looked at his wing again a million thought running through his mind, a million memories he shared with his beloved older brother coming to him again.

“You can’t imagine how long it’s been since he left. Many angels have been searching, but they couldn’t find him. Which led to a logical conclusion that he is dead. All of Heaven mourned his death. A few days ago was anniversary of when he left Heaven. Nobody seems to remember him now, and it frustrates me so much. They just forgot him Dean, just like that!” Dean pulled Castiel in a hug, rubbing his wings to try and calm him down. He knew what it’s like to lose a brother. But he can’t even imagine what it might be like for Castiel. Angel family is too complicated and too cruel for anyone to understand.

“I miss him. I just miss him so much.” Castiel hugged bad tightly, hiding his face in the crook of Dean’s neck trying to calm down, since when angels showed emotion strange things started to happen around them. It might even cause a hurricane.

“I know Cas. I know. I’m sure he loved you.” He didn’t really know what to say to console a crying angel in his arms. Do angels even have a place they go to after they die?

As Castiel calmed down, he pulled away and rubbed at his face. He didn’t cry ever since Gabriel left Heaven. Angels weren’t allowed to show emotions at all these days. The youngest archangel would be disappointed of what their family have become.

“You know Cas, I still think that angels are douchebags, and even though I never met Gabriel I’m sure he wasn’t as bad other other angels. I would have loved to meet someone like him.” Dean paused thinking about words that Castiel needed to hear after all this time. “He would be proud of you if he saw you.” 

Castiel went in for a hug again. He didn’t know he needed to hear it so much until he actually heard it. And for the first time in what felt like forever he felt like the weight on his shoulders have been lifted. Like there was actually nothing to worry about.

Angels didn’t really need to sleep, but sometimes they did it to restore their power, or when they were emotionally exhausted. Castiel needed it more than anything now, so he didn’t really notice when he started to doze off in Dean’s embrace.

They sat there for awhile until Dean realized that Cas’ breathing evened out and his wings went slack against his back. When turned angel over he felt a stab in his heart from the tear tracks that covered his angelic face.

It was a bit awkward when Dean tried to pick Castiel up considering he still had his wings out, but he managed to carry him and lay him down in what he hoped was comfortable position, and climbed into driver’s seat himself. 

He shot a text to Sam, who must have been worried all day because he didn't pick up any of his calls, telling him that they were alright. Dean started the car and drove towards the town. 

When he actually thought about it, he would not be able to carry a winged angel in a motel room without anyone noticing. And he certainly won’t allow anyone to see his angel’s wings. He himself never saw them before today, and it took a lot of trust to do it. And he did not even consider the golden feather in all this. He never would betray his trust in his life.

He turned into the place where no one would see them and stopped the car. He sent another text to Sam saying they won’t be back for important reasons. Praying that Sam won’t tease them when they get back. 

He tossed the phone on the seat next to him and got out of car. He walked around and opened the trunk and gathered a few blankets he had stored there. 

As hard and impossible it was he maneuvered himself so that Castiel was completely lying on top of him, and covered them with blankets. Of course that stunt almost caused Castiel to wake up, but luckily he didn’t, which might have worried Dean because that means either angel was a heavy sleeper or he was exhausted. 

Dean would never admit to anyone that he liked to cuddle, but his moment right now felt so right. He had an angel sleeping in his arms. If someone told him a few years ago that this will happen he would have thought they were insane or would have threatened to shoot them.

He kissed the top of his angel’s head, whispering “I love you angel”, before closing his eyes, falling asleep into peaceful slumber.

And little did they know that they met the infamous angel trickster a year ago. And little did they know that they will meet the supposed-to-be-dead archangel Gabriel in a pocket dimension with switching TV channels a year later.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments after a long break are highly appreciated. They motivate me to keep writing.
> 
> Happy New Year to everyone who actually read all of it!


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